A prayer for my dear friend and husband - "Father, give him the strength to be everything he's called to be. Oh Father, show him the way to lead me. Won't you lead him? May he lead me with strong hands and stand up when I can't. Don't let him leave me hungry for love; chasing things that he could give up. May he show me he's willing to fight; that I'm still the love of his life. So we can call this our home, teach him to lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."
It is vital that our husbands receive our prayerful support. I encourage you to make intercession for him a priority. Lift him up before the Lord and pray that he will adopt the character and attitude of Christ. If you find that you have the desire to pray for him but don't quite know where to start, or feel you don't have the right words, I highly recommend and encourage you to get the book "Praying God's Will for My Husband" by Lee Roberts. You can buy it off amazon.com for $10.19. My sister in law gave me a copy when we were first married and it is something that I love referring to!! Praying scripture is always a good thing!!
"...at all times, they ought to pray and not lose heart." Luke 18:1
"Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
"See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:24
"Teach me to do your will, for You are my God; may Your good spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10
"Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day." Psalm 25:5
"Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it." Psalm 119:35
"Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray..." James 5:13
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16
Hello Friend! I'm sorry to have been absent from you for so long. Busyness is no excuse, so let's jump right in, shall we?! ;)
I'd like to share something that I have been struggling with lately and pray that it's of some encouragement to you no matter where you are in your spiritual walk. The scripture passage I'm focusing on is 1 Peter 3:1-6 and it speaks to Wives. So ladies, here we go! I urge you to read it over quickly before reading further.
I needed this study to remind myself of my wifely role and I'm praying that, through meditating on it and relying on my Heavenly Father, He will refine me to reflect His likeness within my marriage. Please bare with me as I am mostly writing these words to myself, hoping that unity occurs between my head & heart.
Women: submission and modesty (v.1-6)
A. Submission reflects Jesus (v.1-2)
Men & Women are not unequal, they just have very different roles. There must be one leader. Consider a dance. If there were two leaders, how would they create the perfect harmony of a waltz? If dancing partners took the same steps, it wouldn't be a dance; it would be absolute chaos! Both share equal importance in order to establish synchronicity. So it is within a marriage. The husband (intended leader) will proceed with confidence when he feels loved, respected, and supported by his wife (intended follower).
B. Modesty displays true beauty (v.3-4)
- a gentle, quiet spirit. What is it that you're putting on display?
C. Holy women hope in God (v.5-6)
If there's a problem with her husband, it's God's problem to fix...not hers. Still follow your man. He was placed over you by God. Regardless of how your spouse acts, your job in marriage is to reflect Christ. Ephesians 5:21-24 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Personal Perspective: Sticking with the "dancing couple" analogy.
Submit to your spouse, not because they earn or deserve it, but because you reverence Christ and He is always deserving. Love your spouse with the same love that you've been shown. "Just as I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34. God designed marriage to be a tangible way for us to experience and share His love.
I believe the main reason discord occurs in a marriage is FEAR. When you allow fear to establish a foothold, it causes you to doubt that your partner will take the "right steps". Fear of being mislead causes you to try and take the lead in a dance you DO NOT know and don't have the moves for.
I believe fear is also why we often jerk the "spiritual ladder" out from under our spouse. Ladies, as long as you try to manage your spouse through your expectations, you're parenting him. You're not here to reprimand him or be his spiritual conscience. Even though you don't witness your husband spending time in the Word, hear him pray, attend church, or see him taking the spiritual initiative in your home, it doesn't give you the right to judge the closeness of his relationship with God. Fact is, if you don't trust your husband, then you don't trust God. Who's to say that the "wrong steps" your husband takes won't lead you both in the right direction? You cannot know! You must trust that the Lord is ALWAYS in control. He designed "your dance" to work perfectly by establishing your individual roles.
Your husband belongs to God and he will be responsible to God for his actions, or lack thereof. You are not responsible for your husband's spiritual state. Even when he's not being a "good" leader (in your eyes), God does not expect you, nor did He create you with the ability, to step up and "be the man". If your husband's not doing a good enough job, don't you think your Savior will step in, correct him, and save you?! Jesus loves you and your family more than your spouse ever could. Mark 10:9 says "What God has joined together, let no man separate." NO MAN includes your man!!
You would be foolish to try and "lead this dance". If you do, you will cause the "maybe's" to become "surety's". Meaning that...what you fear might happen surely will, if you step in & take charge. Now I'll agree that we have a very important part to play in being our husband's "help meet". But have you ever tried to prematurely "help" your husband with anything? It comes across as disrespectful and is a major blow to his ego. Wait until he needs your help. It might even mean letting your husband fall, but you have to accept that possibility and fall with him in order to help him back up, continue your "dance", and point him back to Christ for spiritual instruction.
I urge you to focus on taking the steps God intended for you and Fear Not! Your Savior will catch you, Darlin'! Your "marriage dance" will be beautiful and harmonious once you see that you're dancing with the Lord by following your husband's lead.
You'll never experience a flawless dance with your spouse,
but you can enjoy a fearless one together!
Truth to memorize and hold to:
"...they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 1 Peter 3:1-2
"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." Exodus 14:14
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1
"Let them praise His name with dancing..." Psalm 149:3
"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1
Power through Prayer:
I pray that we will not insist on our "rights", but surrender them.
I pray that our inappropriate steps will not cause our husbands to stumble.
I pray for strength to deny fear a foothold.
I pray for our total surrender to God's perfect plan.
I pray that we will allow the Lord to direct and our husbands to lead, as we fearlessly follow!
I'd like to leave you with a beautiful song I heard recently.
It's amazing how the Lord knows exactly what we need to hear and when.
