"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you."
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matthew 6:14-15
How do you handle an offence against you? Are you quick to forgive or does bitterness fester within you? I have a horrible tendency to hold a grudge when someone offends me or hurts my feelings, especially when they are aware of how I feel and show no remorse. Can you relate? I am sure there's someone in your life that has "done you wrong" and hasn't confessed. Somehow, I always feel justified in my reasons for not offering them forgiveness.
However, I am recently discovering the danger and destruction caused by this thinking. Continually dwelling on MY pain prevents me from being able to see things through my offender's eyes. If I were not so concerned about myself, perhaps I would be able to look deeper into their situation and empathize with their pain. What if something were to happen to that person? What if I lost all chance of renewing that which was once a thriving relationship? What if he/she never really knew that, despite it all, I love him/her? No matter how bad I've been hurt, am I willing to allow someone to feel worthless to me? I truly believe that if you are not willing to renew a fractured relationship, you never really had a solid foundation in the first place.
Some folks have the perspective that says, "Well, I'm not forgiving them as a form of punishment". If you have the, "This'll show 'em!" revenge mentality, you will end up causing yourself far more pain than you ever hoped to inflict. Trust me, the person that refuses to forgive, burns the bridge that he will eventually need to cross. Don't bind the shackles to your own wrists.
Others take the, "I know things aren't right between me and "So&So", but it's ok, because I'm right with God." approach. According to our verse, that cannot be. You must first forgive, even if your offender is unapologetic for his/her actions. And if you truly forgive that person, your heart toward them would change. You would begin to value their worth and desire to have your relationship back. Your "grudge" would be forgotten...as if the offence never occurred. Granted, you are not responsible for how they respond, but you will be freed from the bondage of being unforgiven by the Lord. And you will leave them feeling free to come back to your embrace when they're ready, knowing all is forgiven and you desire to love them.
Typically, we are wounded by people that hurt us with their tongues; their words cause us deep emotional pain. Imagine the pain that Jesus endured on the cross. He was brutally beaten. He was spat upon and humiliated. He endured every unimaginable, excruciating physical & emotional pain, simultaneously. His humanity and deity was attacked, and how did He respond?..."Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."(Luke 23:34) WHAT?!! How can that be?! We get defensive and decline offering forgiveness when someone says something we don't like. You think it was easy for Jesus to forgive while hanging on the cross after everything they did to Him?! My Friend, let's not forget that even though He was God and had the ability and authority to save Himself, He was 100% fully man. He was flesh and dealt with the same struggles that we have to deal with. The difference is, He always responded in the RIGHT way. Jesus Christ was the Ultimate Empathizer! He knows exactly what it's like!! He can relate to whatever issue you're dealing with.
Here are some nuggets of truth that I hope you will dwell on while you travel the road to forgiveness.They will comfort your heart.
"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." Romans 12:18
"When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7
"Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14
"He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his peace." Proverbs 11:12
"Lord, You will establish peace for us, for You have also done all our works in us." Isaiah 26:12
"And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen." Romans 16:20. No time to lose, Friend! We have a responsibility to put ourselves aside and be as Christ would be to our offenders.
Choose the freedom He can offer and...
Find Joy in Him, Beloved!
